Memory Lane

Confessions from my childhood

I was a rather normal kid who was nice to everyone and hardly never did anything wrong. If I sometimes happened to do something not allowed I immediately felt guilty and confessed. Like the time I smoked for the first time and ended up confessing everything to my mother the day after. I shared that story in post two months ago.

So I wasn’t a very successful wrong-doer, but there are a few things that has happened, and which took a long time, or never, to be confessed. I’m finally ready to speak up and confess some the things that need to be confessed.

Please, don’t use them against me.

The hole in the wall:

There was a huge hole in the wall of my room right behind the door for about ten years until my mom found out about it. We were probably in our early teens when me and my sister were once again fighting about something and this time we got a little violent. I ran to my room for safety – as if you could call it safety, there was no lock on the door – and my sister followed, (I’m sorry Anna, If I go down, you go down with me).

She was screaming and banging the door against the wall when all of sudden the door handle went through the wall, leaving a fist-size whole to it.

We immediately went completely silent and just stared at the wall. Our mom was at work at the time and we were home alone. We contemplated whether we should tell our mom or not and for some weird reason came to the conclusion that we shouldn’t.

Instead we decided we should put a poster on it. We were at the age when girls cover their walls with posters of their idols. I believe we covered this hole with a Take That poster, which did the job perfectly. Mom got home and had absolutely no idea what happened.

We sort of forgot about the whole after some years. I was however reminded of it every time I decided I was too old to have posters on the wall. I had to keep at least some posters on the wall even after I moved out, because we still hadn’t told our mom about it.

Some time after I had moved out our mom announced she was going to move to a smaller apartment and we realised we would finally have to tell mom about the hole. And we did. I’m sure how I expected our mom to react, but after the initial shock of never noticing it she just laughed and crossed her fingers that she would still get her deposit back.

The time I stole:

I was visiting London for the first time in my life when I was fifteen years old. This was fifteen years ago and I still made mixed tapes while listening to the radio. We went to an HMV – at least I think it was and HMV – and I saw these 120 minutes long TDK cassette tapes there. I think these were really rare in Finland at the time.

So as I saw them I decided to buy two of them and took them from the shelve. By this time my friends had payed their purchase while I was still browsing what else to buy. When my friends finally called out to me that they were leaving I had completely forgotten I was going to buy the tapes, so I walked out of the store. Still holding onto the tapes in my hand.

It wasn’t until in the middle of the next block when I realised what I had done. I stopped and told my friends what had happened and together we decided not to do anything about it. None of us could speak good enough English at the time to be able to explain what had happened, so we just continued our way end never spoke about it again.

I had a really bad feeling about it for a long time after and every time I recorded a song onto the tapes or listened to them I felt a little sting in my heart. Hopefully I’m not going to be put in jail for this confession.

End of confessions.

Do you have anything you want to confess?

With warm hugs and gentle thuds – Keri


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